Vladimir Putin finally agrees with me! Years ago I wrote an opinion piece for an adoption magazine. The topic was foreign adoption. I advocated for helping countries care for homeless children in their own country.
As a specialist on the topic of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, (FAS) I was alarmed by the influx of adopted children with disabilities related to prenatal exposure to alcohol. My biggest concern was that people, who will need social and financial support for the rest of their lives, do not fare well in this country.
The US is a country that is proud of its independent spirit. We want our children to be independent enough to ride the school bus. We send a crying child to their room to “work it out” alone. We expect adults to support themselves. We take special pride in the person who comes from a disadvantaged background by “pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps.”
Along with our independence we expect our youth to be able to handle a great deal of responsibility. We give our children driver’s licenses when they turn sixteen and expect them to be responsible with the family car. We give our youth a great deal of freedom and expect them to stay out of trouble. The mother who drives her child to scouts and stays to supervise him is “over parenting.”
In a nation where children are expected to be independent and handle responsibility at an early age, children with FAS do not do well. They will get into trouble if given the same amount of free time as their peers. They will get into trouble if given the freedom of the family car. They are also self aware enough to feel ashamed at needing to live by rules of dependence.
In my original article I advocated that children with brain damage from prenatal exposure will do better in a nation that accepts the notion that a social safety net is necessary. The child with cognitive disabilities will do better where it is okay for adults to supervise children. Children with cognitive disabilities will do better in a community that provides for vocational training.
While I am aware that Russia’s economic problems have made caring for their children with disabilities a challenge. I still think that children with cognitive disabilities will do better in a society that accepts the need for a social safety net and dependence on extended family or family surrogates.
It is my hope that Prime Minister Putin will be able to follow through on his comments to keep more of their children in the country. I hope he will recognize the need for supervision for these children past the age of maturity. I hope his country will be able to provide the vocational training their youth need. I think they do have the structure and philosophy to do a great job of including individuals with cognitive disabilities in Russian society.